Amsterdam Escort or Dutch Tour Guide? The Funniest Requests Ever Received

When you think of an Amsterdam Escort, you probably imagine a luxurious, intimate experience filled with passion and romance. However, for some clients, the idea of spending time with an escort in Amsterdam also includes... sightseeing, bike rides, and even pancake tastings. Yes, really. Over the years, escorts have received some of the most bizarre, hilarious, and downright unexpected requests from clients who seem to have forgotten whether they booked a sensual Amsterdam Escort or a professional Dutch tour guide.

Here are some of the funniest, most unusual requests ever received by escorts in Amsterdam. Some will make you laugh, some will make you wonder, and all will prove that no two clients are ever the same.

1. "Can You Show Me the Best Pancake Place First?"

Forget romance and intimacy; some clients have their priorities straight—Dutch pancakes first, everything else second. One escort shared a story about a client who insisted that they start the date at the best pancake house in town before anything else could happen.

“I picked him up at his hotel, expecting a classic evening,” she recalls. “Instead, he grabbed my hand and said, ‘First things first, let’s get some Poffertjes.’”

While enjoying fluffy pancakes before a sensual rendezvous is a little unconventional, at least he had good taste—Dutch pancakes are delicious!

2. "Can We Do the Date on a Bike? / Escort Amsterdam"

If you’ve ever been to Amsterdam, you know that biking is practically a religion here. But one client took this to a whole new level by requesting that the entire escort experience happen while cycling.

“He rented a tandem bike,” an escort in Amsterdam explains, “and wanted me to ride in the front while he sat in the back. I had to cycle through the city while he whispered sweet nothings in my ear.”

It sounded romantic at first—until she realized she had to do all the pedaling while he enjoyed the scenery. Talk about a workout!

3. "Can You Pretend to Be My Girlfriend for My Business Dinner?"

Many clients hire Amsterdam Escorts for companionship, but one businessman took it a step further. He needed an elegant date for a corporate dinner and asked his escort to pretend they were in a serious relationship.

“I had to memorize how we met, how long we’d been dating, and even what my favorite movie was,” she laughs. “I basically became an actress for the evening.”

The funniest part? The other business partners were so impressed that one of them asked if she had a sister.

4. "Can You Give Me a Walking Tour of the Red Light District?"

Some tourists love sightseeing, and one client decided that his escort in Amsterdam would make the perfect tour guide.

“He wanted me to walk him through the Red Light District, explaining the history and culture,” an escort explains. “I was in high heels, guiding him past the windows like I was working for the city’s tourism board.”

The funniest part? She knew more about the area than the average guide!

5. "Can We Just Hold Hands and Walk by the Canals Like a Romantic Movie?"

Not every client is looking for wild adventures—some are hopeless romantics at heart. One client simply wanted to walk hand-in-hand by the canals, talking about life and admiring the city’s beauty.

“It was like being in a European romance movie,” an escort says. “Except instead of dramatic kisses, we were stopping every five minutes for selfies.”

At least it was an easy gig!

6. "Can You Help Me Choose a Souvenir for My Wife?"

Some clients have a sense of humor, but this request took things to a whole new level. One man booked an Escort Amsterdam experience only to ask her to help him pick out a gift for his wife.

“I thought he was joking at first,” she recalls, “but he was dead serious. We spent an hour shopping for tulips and Dutch clogs.”

Ironically, the wife probably had no idea her husband’s ‘shopping assistant’ was actually his escort.

7. "Can We Visit a Coffee Shop First?"

Amsterdam is famous for its relaxed laws on cannabis, so it’s no surprise that some clients want to stop at a coffee shop before their date.

“One client said he’d never been to Amsterdam before and wanted to try the ‘full experience,’” an escort recalls. “So we sat in a coffee shop while he got high for the first time. By the time we got to the hotel, he was giggling at the wallpaper and asking if he could pet my hair.”

Let’s just say, it wasn’t the most passionate night of her career.

8. "Can You Speak to Me in a Dutch Accent?"

Accents can be sexy, but one client took it too far by asking his escort in Amsterdam to fake a Dutch accent.

“I’m Moldovan, and my Dutch is okay,” she explains, “but he wanted me to do this over-the-top, Hollywood-style Dutch accent.”

She did her best, but the more exaggerated it got, the more ridiculous the situation became. Eventually, both of them burst out laughing. At least he had a sense of humor!

9. "Can You Teach Me How to Say Romantic Things in Dutch?"

Some clients like a bit of cultural immersion, and one decided he wanted a quick Dutch language lesson.

“He wanted to impress a Dutch girl he had a crush on,” an escort laughs. “So we spent 30 minutes practicing Dutch pick-up lines before we even got started with our own date.”

The verdict? Dutch is a tricky language, and let’s just say his pronunciation needed some work.

10. "Can You Help Me Find the Best Fries in Amsterdam?"

Sometimes, cravings take priority over passion. One client was determined to try the best Dutch fries in the city and wanted his Escort Amsterdam to be his food guide.

“We went on a ‘fries tour,’ stopping at different street vendors,” an escort says. “I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much mayo in one night.”

In the end, they found the perfect fries—and had a memorable date to go with it.

Final Thoughts: The Escort-Tour Guide Crossover

Being an escort in Amsterdam isn’t just about intimacy; sometimes, it’s about embracing the unexpected. Whether it’s giving a sightseeing tour, playing the role of a fake girlfriend, or simply enjoying pancakes before a date, these experiences show just how unique and unpredictable escorting can be.

So, the next time you book an Amsterdam Escort, maybe ask yourself—are you looking for romance, adventure, or just the best fries in town?